Fatherhood has enlightened me in ways I never expected. I say this over and over, but it's worth repeating because I value the teaching moments more so now than I ever had prior to becoming a father. And these teaching moments often come up at the most unexpected of times, like when we recently took our children to see a live production of Mary Poppins. No, it wasn't the kind of big ticket show that draws national attention on morning talk shows, but it was an excellent version. According to the program, it drew from the original works of P.L. Travers, as well as borrowing elements from the Disney film version. Of course, my wife and I enjoyed it, but to our everlasting delight, so did both of our children — including my young son.
Within this production, there was an exchange between Mr. Banks (the children's father and Mary Poppins' employer) and Mr. Northbrook (a businessman seeking a loan) that was not in the Disney film. Mr. Northbrook addresses the children directly, insisting it is never too soon to teach a child about the value of money. Handing them each a coin, he asks if they know the value.
Michael responds, "I know the value of this: sixpence."
Mr. Northbrook counters back with, "No, that's its worth. It's value's in how you spend it. Do good, and may you have good luck."
We all think we are good with money, but the truth of it is, most of us are not. If everyone was as good as they claim to be with their money, there would be a lot more millionaires.
The value of a dollar, as I was taught, was to make an assessment of an item you have no clue about, yet somehow automatically know what a fair price would be despite not being able to venture a guess prior to hearing the actual cost.
For example, a plumber who grew up in a family of plumbers looking to buy a ballet dress for his daughter would be hard pressed to assess the true value of said dress if he has zero dance background. He's probably the man to ask when wanting plumbing-related value assessments, as well as the values of commonly replaced items from his field. Plumbing labor costs that are outrageous to the general public will seem perfectly reasonable to him. In fact, he is probably dumbfounded when people react with indignation at his quoted labor costs. Despite the irony of being able to see both sides of the coin in his own field, and despite having no clue what a ballet dress for his daughter is supposed to cost, somehow, he is supposed to know what market value is without any research or people may think he doesn't know anything about the value of a dollar. He will need to react in outrage at how “expensive” the actual cost is, because he knows ballet dresses shouldn’t cost so much, much the same way a customer reacts when being charged for plumbing repairs.
So despite having no education on a matter or having anything other than superficial information at best, people somehow fashion themselves an "authority” on what constitutes fair or unfair pricing when in the marketplace. Like many others who’s parents failed to teach them any money management, I was essentially taught the value of a dollar could be accurately guessed whenever facts were unavailable.
The scariest aspect of this approach is the sheer number of people who live and die by it, like the man who taught me. The older he got, the more exponentially expensive everything became from his perspective. It seemed as though he couldn’t see value in anything. T-shirts and jeans were so “expensive” that he would wear them with stains and holes for years before breaking down and replacing them. His jeans were taken off the bottom shelf at The Evil Empire, and only replaced when they developed an issue that required repair. You can imagine what he looked like the last half of one of these extended cycles, particularly in the final weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone mistook him for homeless.
Knowing how hard it was for both my wife and I to undo the flawed money management lessons from our youth, we have tried to impress upon our children the very important difference between worth, which is displayed on currency, and value, which is determined by how you spend it. After one such lesson, my six-year-old son responded in the most matter-of-fact tone:
"That's why Daddy has to go to work ... so he can make the monies."
It's a work-in-progress.
