People behave in ways they're often unaware of (or only marginally aware of). Since we are being ourselves, everything feels normal, or at least as normal as we expected from yesterday, or as normal as we expect tomorrow will be. We tend to assume our sense of norms are the same as others, yet this couldn't be further from the truth when you consider that all of us learned our sense of normality from different sources, which are then magnified exponentially when you factor in race, culture, as well as one's regional origin.
This innately arrogant approach becomes amplified once you enter the realm of parenthood, because you have now become the example by which very impressionable, miniature versions of yourself are now taking their cues. The real question then becomes: am I setting a good example? If you haven't asked yourself this question as a parent, perhaps you should. "Do as I say not as I do" was a favorite of elders when I was growing up. It was in heavier rotation than that new pop song on terrestrial radio stations (didn't we just hear this?!).
The problem with this antiquated approach is the reality that we learn from the examples others set before us. Minding our social graces comes from more than just the verbal reminders. The examples of when and where things are appropriate come from those whom we look up to and respect, even when those people are modeling poor behavior. Everything from vices, to spending habits, to political and religious leanings, to our attitudes toward genders and people from differing ethnic backgrounds, are being keenly observed and incorporated by those sponges we call our children — yes, everything.
I remember the exact moment of this epiphany. Thankfully, I hadn't been a father for too long prior. My wife was nursing our newborn son, and still avoiding things like caffeine and alcohol, but craving sour treats like lemonade. My daughter was two, and playing with her tea party set. She was serving drinks while I watched football, and offered me a choice.
"Daddy," she asked, "would you like coffee, lemonade, or beer?"
Without thinking about what I was doing, or the (poor) example I was setting, I was largely transitioning from coffee to beer while watching football every Sunday during football season. It seems someone took notice. Perhaps I should have been drinking more water.
"I'll take some lemonade, please."
This was the first of many steps toward setting a better example.
