The Messy Mess

Expressions are ubiquitous in English, regardless of the dialect.  Metaphors and other artistic ways of saying something indirectly, yet plainly, whether regional or universal, are a reality of communication and social interaction.  Unfortunately, there are all of the contradictions and falsehoods in some of the more universal expressions meant to plainly support opposite ends of the same spectrum.  The hypocrisy of these expressions lies in how they are selectively applied.  "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."  I suppose it could, but how can that be true if "out of sight, out of mind" is also true?  We are taught as children to "never judge a book by its cover," while simultaneously being taught that "the clothes make the man" and "dress for the job you want, not the job you have."

What really has me thinking about such contradictions is the insistence that "opposites attract."  If that were true, wouldn't people on opposite ends of the political landscape be uncontrollably drawn to one another?  And what about "birds of a feather flock together?"  They can't both be true, unless selectively applied.  My wife and I may not agree on everything, but we have copious amounts of common ground.  Not only is our world view on par with one another, we have many shared interests ranging from diet to music to movies, and beyond.

The only way such an expression can gain any traction is if one focuses on a much narrower path.  When it comes to cooking, for example, we both prefer that I cook.  It's not that my wife is incapable of cooking, but it's not a strength of hers, so she helps me with meals as needed.  Additionally, my wife is great at keeping things clean and in order.  It's something I really appreciate about her.  While I am not messy, I am a terrible cleaner, so after I finish cooking, she does the heavy lifting when it comes to cleaning.  Some would say that makes us opposites, but I would contend that our strengths compliment one another's shortcomings.

There are many variables in fatherhood, but none fascinate me quite as much as genetics and the randomness of how they are divided.  Our children should represent the best our genetic code has to offer, complimented by the best genetic code of (ideally) a well-chosen partner.  Naturally, I couldn't be happier when I saw my daughter had inherited her mother's knack for cleanliness and order, and had avoided my shortcomings in that regard.  It was obvious from a very young age that she was never going to be messy.  She took great pride in helping her mother put things away, and it was really amazing to see the two of them truly bonding in those moments.

I should mention I felt that way until I took my daughter camping for the first time.  She was still in diapers, and it was fun to have some father/daughter time, until she noticed just how dirty dirt can be — who knew?!  Apparently, there's a lot of dirt outside, which she continually reminded me of.

"That's a mess!"  She said forcefully, as she pointed in no particular direction.  "That's a mess!"  She reiterated, pointing elsewhere.  "That's a mess!"

This continued the entire time we were camping, reinforcing how humbling fatherhood can be.  I had clearly missed the bigger picture, as well as any potential hurdles until I was clubbed over the head with them.  You may not be able to "teach an old dog new tricks," but my daughter can, proving that her father is "never too old to learn."