My home growing up was never about inclusiveness. This extended to meals. We never had a table where the family sat to eat. We never exchanged stories about our day. If we ever dared to mention any strife, our complaints were dismissed as insignificant and irrelevant, and we were reminded to keep it to ourselves (we were shouted down). Knowing full well how wrong and damaging this approach can be, my wife and I decided to make meal times more inclusive for our family. We always eat together, at the table, and we always engage our children, encouraging back and forth with playful banter.
One afternoon, when my children were ages five and seven, we were all eating lunch together and my children were finishing up their apples. Now these apples had been cut up by my wife and contained zero seeds. Despite this glaring reality, my seven year old daughter is convinced she has consumed a seed, which prompts her mother to playfully proclaim, "Uh oh! Now an apple tree is going to grow out of your tummy!"
My five year old son instantly went into a mini-panic-attack at hearing this news (that he clearly believed), grunting his anxiety-filled displeasure. My daughter, meanwhile, tried to laugh it off, but her face was falling because she clearly had her doubts as to whether or not her mother was teasing her, which prompted her to ask timidly, "Mama, are you just kidding ... (pause) ... or are you telling the truth?" The note of panic rising in her voice was unmistakable.
Her mother responded with, "Yes! Of course I am kidding! The seed will go into your stomach, but you will poop it out like everything else. You will not grow a tree." She added reassuringly.
Expressions of instant relief spread across both faces of my children. ”You will poop it out, and then you will flush the toilet!" Added my five year old son with enthusiasm.
Of course she will.
