Fatherhood is a shared experience. We share it with our partners (if we are lucky enough to have one), as well as our children. There is a brotherhood among fathers as we all have milestones and life events that parallel one another. Keeping to that theme, it's worth noting that I'm not the first to create a blog about my experiences as a father, nor will I be the last, because all of our shared experiences are uniquely ours, regardless of the parallels. Beyond the obviousness of variables such as race, religion, and socioeconomics, the variables that provide the most depth for our experiences as fathers are our children. We have heard plenty about what parents have to say about the experience. My hope is to provide a voice for my children.
Parental Guidance: words to live by. We hear these words constantly whether we’re parents or not — but what do these words mean? If parents are expected to provide guidance, who guides us? Children are born, but without working instructions. The reason I say working instructions is because there actually are easily accessible instructions that exist for parenting (this revelation may even be greeted with some optimism). Unfortunately, those instructions are provided in the form of unwanted advice from your parents and peers who are unwilling to admit they are just as clueless as you are with regard to parenting. Following available instructions from those around you (or the Internet) can make parenting feel like trying to assemble that new Asian-made toy that comes with a billion pieces all while trying to follow a guide that has been translated a few times before it finally makes its debut in your native tongue, though they’ve clearly been translated by someone without a comprehensive working knowledge of your native tongue. Confusion and frustration will follow by default — which is pretty much par for the course.
Raising children is a lot like building a house, only from the perspective of an architect or builder trying to learn the craft with on the job training — learn as you go, so to speak. Although you aren’t likely to try to build something profound that the public relies on without first becoming proficient in the craft (like a skyscraper or suspension bridge), that’s exactly what you’re doing when you become a parent: jumping in with both feet for a round of “sink or swim” that never seems to end. You may not think comparing the building of an important structure to raising a child is as valid as I would have you believe, but consider this: all world leaders were raised by someone. What if your child becomes a world leader or does something that the public depends on? Luck favors the prepared for a reason.
The journey from child to adult is a collection of steps I need to become more familiar with. Much like the buildings and bridges I've encountered in my travels: some assembly is required. We'll get there.
The journey from child to adult is a collection of steps I need to become more familiar with. Much like the buildings and bridges I've encountered in my travels: some assembly is required. We'll get there.
